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	<title>人際關係 &#8211; Selena｜職感研究室</title>
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		<title>書評書摘｜《最高閒聊法》，不怕尬聊的聊天方法，有效突破社交障礙</title>
		<link>https://yuntalks.com/review-how-chat/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Selena 陳亭勻]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 28 Feb 2022 13:52:04 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[閱讀筆記]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[個人成長]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[全站文章]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[人際關係]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[心靈成長]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[讀書心得]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://yuntalks.com/?p=1170</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[多數人只擅長跟熟人談天或職場正經對話，無法用對話拉近陌生人的關係。但人畢竟無法避開職場與私領域的寒暄，因此更該學習不把天「聊死」、並藉由聊天擴展人際圈，甚至獲取信任與機會。《最高閒聊法》作者「五百田達成」，於書中盤點生活中的聊天情境，以 NG 與 OK 的對比作法，幫助讀者面對眾多尬聊問題，技巧地解決社交厭倦與憂慮！]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p>日本溝通管理師暨本書作者「五百田達成」指出，多數人只擅長跟熟人談天或是工作場合的正經對話，無法跟關係微妙或陌生的人，用對話拉近關係。因此，很多人在社交場合，會覺得自己說話很無趣，不知道該說什麼，或是好不容易擠出話題，卻在話題用盡後一片沉默、缺乏彈性延伸對話的方法，也無法自在應對別人提起的話題。</p>



<p>偏偏，人生還是有很多場合需要「動口」，不管是初次見面的閒聊、跟客戶談生意、跟主管同仁出差、親戚聚會，還是不得已要進行的各種親友鄰居寒暄場合。</p>



<p>怎麼樣才能不把天「聊死」呢？該怎麼藉由聊天擴展人際圈，甚至獲取客戶的信任，藉此獲得更多機會？《<a href="https://www.books.com.tw/exep/assp.php/sunsetc/products/0010909073?utm_source=sunsetc&amp;utm_medium=ap-books&amp;utm_content=recommend&amp;utm_campaign=ap-202202" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">最高閒聊法：再尷尬也能聊出花來，一生受用的人際溝通術</a>》，將日常生活常見的聊天情境一一列出，再指出 NG 與 OK 的對比作法，讓大家都能有技巧地面對尬聊的情境，自信的開口。</p>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img data-recalc-dims="1" fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="1024" height="536" src="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/book-review01-1.jpg?resize=1024%2C536&#038;ssl=1" alt="最高閒聊法-書評-心得-內向-陌生-聊天-溝通-職場-話題" class="wp-image-1171" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/book-review01-1-1200x628.jpg?resize=1024%2C536&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/book-review01-1-1200x628.jpg?resize=300%2C157&amp;ssl=1 300w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/book-review01-1-1200x628.jpg?resize=768%2C402&amp;ssl=1 768w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/book-review01-1-1200x628.jpg?resize=1200%2C628&amp;ssl=1 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /><figcaption>五百田達成：《<a href="https://www.books.com.tw/exep/assp.php/sunsetc/products/0010909073?utm_source=sunsetc&amp;utm_medium=ap-books&amp;utm_content=recommend&amp;utm_campaign=ap-202202" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">最高閒聊法</a>》，2021年12月，方智出版</figcaption></figure>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading">為什麼選這本書？解決我的社交自閉與厭倦</h2>



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<p>我曾以為自己是很擅長閒聊的人，但在進入職場後，工作時間拉長、與人在公領域以外的相處機會減少，慢慢變得不擅長隨口閒聊。雖然沒有不敢說話、畏懼社交的狀況，但閒聊時往往不是過於賣力、努力維持氣氛，不然就是充滿知識交流的對答。也因此每每從社交場合回來，都搞得筋疲力盡，漸漸也越來越不喜歡交際。</p>



<p>到後來，我犯了跟作者在後記所寫的一樣毛病：「<em>對人不感興趣</em>」。除了職場、公領域盡心盡力的對話以外，我不想花時間認識不熟悉的人、記不住別人聊過的話、不想交新朋友、根本顧不及他人。</p>



<p>但我真的不想這樣，隨便將他人拒於千里之外，放棄與別人建立關係。也因此，我打開了這本書，讀完以後也開始實踐閒聊的技巧。我不再拼命炒場，而是讓對話自然進行，一陣子過後，我發現對於外出、聚會、社交，我抗拒的態度越來越緩減了。</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">你是閒聊高手，還是對話凡人？</h3>



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<p>本書在一開始有個測驗，能幫讀者快速定位自己遇到的聊天問題。做完我才發現，自己充其量只能算是個「會說話、也不怕說話的人」，在閒聊與社交方面根本是幼幼班。原來，並不是因為年紀大了厭倦交際，而是因為踩了不少閒聊交際的地雷，因此身心俱疲。</p>



<p>作者五百田達成的見解很有趣，他認為「一般對話」跟「閒聊」其實是完全兩回事。多數人擅長一般對話，比如職場簡報、好友聊天等，談話多半無礙。但若想將一般對話的策略，應用在關係比較疏遠、非正式場合的「閒聊」，那絕對行不通。</p>



<p>作者認為：「<em>想成為閒聊高手，你不需要成為主持人。</em>」我們每個人都應該知道，「閒聊」並不是「跟感情好的人隨便講講話」。對於那些必須小心翼翼對待、或是初次見面、交情尚淺的人，隨便講講話、過於直來直往是危險的。因此，我們需要本書的指引，學會真正的閒聊。</p>



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<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img data-recalc-dims="1" decoding="async" width="640" height="427" src="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/etienne-boulanger-erCPgyXNlto-unsplash-1.jpg?resize=640%2C427&#038;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-1172" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/etienne-boulanger-erCPgyXNlto-unsplash-1-640x427.jpg?resize=640%2C427&amp;ssl=1 640w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/etienne-boulanger-erCPgyXNlto-unsplash-1-640x427.jpg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" /><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@etienneblg?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Etienne Boulanger</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/talk?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure></div>



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<p>本書第一章，作者列出 7 個聊天法則，前三個針對聊天內容與目的，後四個則與對談的反應有關。第二章則是分享聊天的內容，怎麼開頭、分享、附和、導回正題、結束話題。而在第三章，作者進一步將閒聊擴及到熟人身上，也分享多人聚會的閒聊方法，比如轉移換題、緩和氣氛、創造對話節奏等。而在最後一章，則獨立切出一般人最擔憂的職場對話，分享與同事建立關係、與主管閒聊等實用技巧。</p>



<p>本文會摘要分享幾個重點，希望有興趣、也有需求的讀者，能自己找書來看，並在生活中實踐閒聊的技巧，跟我一起克服社交障礙。</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading">三個聊天重點：不中斷、重心情、談經驗</h2>



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<p>為什麼呢？因為閒聊不需要數據、邏輯，也不需要交流資訊，甚至不太需要結論或結局閒聊的目的，是「<em>醞釀出『我們在對話』的感受，可以帶來『讓彼此關係更緊密』的安心感。</em>」作者認為，<em>閒聊的重點不是「內容」，而是你來我往的「持久性」</em>。</p>



<p>現在我們知道，閒聊重在你來我往的持續性，但要如何讓對話不中斷呢？訣竅就是，將閒聊內容集中於「心情」的交換。</p>



<p>有些人會誤以為，我們應該到處汲取話題，用時事來談天，但那些查了就知道的資訊、時事，其實根本無法建立緊密關係，反而有可能一講完就讓對話斷掉。當然，有些人會擔心，聊天時談自己的感受，會否太突兀、太私密？但在作者看來，「<em>和對方分享自己真實的心情、感受</em>」，才是擴展閒聊的方法，也能讓彼此的關係漸漸親密起來。</p>



<p>以下仿造作者的舉例，讓大家看一下從「時事」與「自身」出發的閒聊差異：</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">【從時事出發的閒聊】</h3>



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<p>「這次烏克蘭戰爭好像很嚴重耶，在那邊還有十幾位留學生回不來。」</p>



<p>「對呀，真的滿嚴重的。連機場都關閉了，不知道怎麼回來。」</p>



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<p class="has-theme-palette-7-background-color has-background">由於烏克蘭戰爭、留學生都跟談話者的生命經驗差距甚遠，也有可能對方根本就不關心你挑選的時事，因此對話可能直接終止，閒聊人就必須趕快切換到相近話題（其他新聞）、甚至轉換話題（可能開始聊張惠妹演唱會），倍感疲勞。</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading"> 【從自身經驗出發的閒聊】 </h3>



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<p>「這次的戰爭好緊張，讓我想到小時候台海危機，一直說要打，我記得我爸媽那時很緊張。」</p>



<p>「對呀，大人那時都很擔心，我有親戚就在那時候移民。」</p>



<p>「說到移民，我在溫哥華遇到不少當年的移民，聽說一開始也很辛苦。想到戰爭近在身邊，感覺要有點危機意識跟準備，最近我有想去上急救或醫護相關課程。」</p>



<p>「我之前也有想考急救相關的證照，但因為都有年限，手邊也有事情拖著，就有點不了了之。你講的那個課程我有點興趣，感覺還是要有點防護意識？」</p>



<p>「我是覺得，即使不是戰爭，日常也難保不會用到。我最近也在看火場逃生須知，感覺跟我們小時候學到的差好多！」</p>



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<p class="has-theme-palette-7-background-color has-background">急救、照護是近年推廣的重要議題之一，而台海危機則是兩造對話者的共同經歷，話題要延伸會比較自然。不管是要繼續聊對戰爭的感受，還是順著往移民、醫療照護等談下去，只要是從感受、自身經驗出發，閒聊的延伸方式就會很自然。</p>



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<div id="kt-info-box_fada42-91" class="wp-block-kadence-infobox"><a class="kt-blocks-info-box-link-wrap info-box-link kt-blocks-info-box-media-align-left kt-info-halign-left"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media-container"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media kt-info-media-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-container kt-info-icon-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-inner-container"><span style="display:block;justify-content:center;align-items:center" class="kt-info-svg-icon kt-info-svg-icon-fe_star"><svg style="display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle" viewbox="0 0 24 24" height="36" width="36" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" aria-hidden="true"><polygon points="12 2 15.09 8.26 22 9.27 17 14.14 18.18 21.02 12 17.77 5.82 21.02 7 14.14 2 9.27 8.91 8.26 12 2"></polygon></svg></span></div></div></div></div><div class="kt-infobox-textcontent"><h2 class="kt-blocks-info-box-title">閒聊的三個重點</h2><p class="kt-blocks-info-box-text">若要提升閒聊能力，作者建議我們盡量避免以新聞與時事打開話題，以免落入表面、膚淺的對談。所有的對話應該都<strong>從自己出發</strong>，聊自己的生活事件與經驗，<strong>交換彼此的心情</strong>，讓<strong>對話持久延續</strong>。<br/><br/>在原則四也有提到，閒聊時不要急於否定對方、提供意見。閒聊立基於心情，中斷於過多的意見與資訊。對方要的，其實只是你的同理心與肯定。</p></div></a></div>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>開始與結束閒聊的方式，原來這麼簡單</strong></h2>



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<p>了解閒聊的梗概之後，下一個棘手的問題來了：「該怎麼開始閒聊？」「又該怎麼適當地結束話題，又不顯得突兀呢？」</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">閒聊應該結束在八分飽的狀態</h3>



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<p>閒聊就像打球一樣，開始要發球，結束則落在雙方共識（球場上的共識則是明確的得分規則）。作者五百田提醒讀者，<strong>最好的閒聊大概結束在「八分飽」的狀態</strong>。畢竟不是情人、家人，即便是上司或客戶，也不需要聊到極為深入，因此在恰到好處的地方結束，雙方也能維持剛好的距離。</p>



<p>而結束閒聊的方法，其實就是把書中提到的「讓閒聊熱絡、有來有往」的幾個原則，<strong>通通反著做</strong>。具體來說，就是開始減少心情與想法的交流，降低對話反映，做出結論後離開。如果此慢慢降低閒聊的熱度，但又因為前面累積的融洽而有一定的交流。</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">學會釋放「開始聊天」的信號</h3>



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<p>閒聊既然是輕鬆愉快、有來有往的持續對話，開始就應該避免過於生硬、拘謹的用詞。作者提醒，像是「辛苦了」、「承蒙照顧」，或是急於遞上名片，都是讓彼此生硬的行為，倒不如大方的從「你好」、「午安」等親切的問候開始。</p>



<p>如果是比較生疏少見的對象，不妨順勢報上自己的名字，讓別人也跟著報上名號，彼此都能順便確認對方的名字，避免尷尬與誤會。</p>



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<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img data-recalc-dims="1" decoding="async" width="640" height="426" src="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/vladislav-klapin-PVr9Gsj93Pc-unsplash.jpg?resize=640%2C426&#038;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-1176" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/vladislav-klapin-PVr9Gsj93Pc-unsplash-640x426.jpg?resize=640%2C426&amp;ssl=1 640w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/vladislav-klapin-PVr9Gsj93Pc-unsplash-640x426.jpg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" /><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@lemonvlad?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Vladislav Klapin</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/hello?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure></div>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading">如何開展話題，正確提問？</h2>



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<p>閱讀本書的過程中，我發現「<strong>問題精確</strong>」是一個關鍵。對話中，有時沒想太多就迸出的一句話，會讓聽眾困惑，進而遲疑回復、對談的節奏瞬間亂掉。比如說，很多人喜歡問：「你的興趣是什麼？」其實對作者來說，是個相當 NG 的問法。為什麼呢？</p>



<p>因為聽眾可能會思考，「要到什麼程度才能稱為興趣？」「我最近開始接觸繪畫，但也才剛開始尋找教材，這樣算興趣嗎？」</p>



<p class="has-theme-palette-7-background-color has-background">有些人甚至會過度疑慮，害怕自己講出的興趣，被貼上刻板標籤。比如我個人很喜歡打電動，但迄今為止只要講到興趣是電動，除非對方是同好，否則多半會被貼上「浪費時間」、「怎麼不做更有意義的事」等標籤。因此聊興趣對我來說，風險很高，往往不是太愉快的話題。</p>



<p>讓人摸不著頭緒、模糊的用詞、或是曾經導致危險處境的提問，都會讓對話開始陷入過度思考。此時，倒不如學作者改問：「你最近迷上什麼？」「最近有什麼出遊的行程嗎？」讓問題簡單一點，也讓對方可以順勢分享周末或近期的事情：「我最近正在找繪畫相關的線上課程」、「周末會去健身房」、「前幾天報名了空中瑜珈體驗課」，接著就可以從自身分享經驗與心情了。</p>



<p>假設最近的狀況交流完畢，也可以<strong>把時間從「現在」，切換成「過去」或「未來」。</strong>小時候有沉迷的東西嗎？如果之後可以出國，想去哪裡呢？想吃什麼呢？作者友善提醒，「食物」通常是最安全的話題，只要不批判雙方的喜好或選擇，往往都可以愉快地聊很久。</p>



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<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img data-recalc-dims="1" loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="427" src="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/valeriia-miller-ZVX9q0FWmpc-unsplash.jpg?resize=640%2C427&#038;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-1177" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/valeriia-miller-ZVX9q0FWmpc-unsplash-640x427.jpg?resize=640%2C427&amp;ssl=1 640w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/valeriia-miller-ZVX9q0FWmpc-unsplash-640x427.jpg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" /><figcaption>Photo by Valeriia Miller on <a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/weekend?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure></div>



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<p>當然，一開始的閒聊話題總有聊到結尾的時候，要想長時間的聊下去，還是需要掌握開啟新話題的能力。如何在發散的對話中再把對話拉回自己與對方身上，並且營造舒服的談話氣氛呢？我們需要練習更多的聊天技巧。</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading">《最高閒聊法》教你破解各種艱難的對話場景</h2>



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<p>相信很多人都跟我一樣，遇上對方跟我興趣相同時，立刻興致勃勃、熱絡回應，馬上接話大說特說。而在遇到喜歡講贏別人的對象，或是聊天雙方的意見相佐時，則要爭出個正確答案。然而，以上其實都是破壞閒聊的習慣。</p>



<p>對溝通專家五百田而言，讓對方盡情分享，遇到爭論則盡力閃躲、避免說服對方，才是真正的閒聊大師。箇中原因跨了好幾節，結論是「<strong>聊喜好，不說好壞</strong>」。例子簡單說明如下：</p>



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<div id="kt-info-box_6d2c4c-0b" class="wp-block-kadence-infobox"><a class="kt-blocks-info-box-link-wrap info-box-link kt-blocks-info-box-media-align-left kt-info-halign-left"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media-container"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media kt-info-media-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-container kt-info-icon-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-inner-container"><span style="display:block;justify-content:center;align-items:center" class="kt-info-svg-icon kt-info-svg-icon-ic_heart"><svg style="display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle" viewbox="0 0 8 8" height="36" width="36" fill="currentColor" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true"><path d="M2 0c-.55 0-1.04.23-1.41.59-.36.36-.59.85-.59 1.41 0 .55.23 1.04.59 1.41l3.41 3.41 3.41-3.41c.36-.36.59-.85.59-1.41 0-.55-.23-1.04-.59-1.41-.36-.36-.85-.59-1.41-.59-.55 0-1.04.23-1.41.59-.36.36-.59.85-.59 1.41 0-.55-.23-1.04-.59-1.41-.36-.36-.85-.59-1.41-.59z" transform="translate(0 1)"></path></svg></span></div></div></div></div><div class="kt-infobox-textcontent"><h2 class="kt-blocks-info-box-title">我與對方聊到喜好</h2><p class="kt-blocks-info-box-text">如果是共同喜好，與其倉促附和，不如讓對方暢所欲言。等對方講完，再承認自己也喜歡，讓對方驚喜號，才交流彼此的感受與研究。<br/><br/>而若你不懂對方的喜好，不妨大方地請對方講給你聽，不要因此而困擾或轉移話題。</p></div></a></div>



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<div id="kt-info-box_28eefa-8a" class="wp-block-kadence-infobox"><a class="kt-blocks-info-box-link-wrap info-box-link kt-blocks-info-box-media-align-left kt-info-halign-left"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media-container"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media kt-info-media-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-container kt-info-icon-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-inner-container"><span style="display:block;justify-content:center;align-items:center" class="kt-info-svg-icon kt-info-svg-icon-ic_heart"><svg style="display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle" viewbox="0 0 8 8" height="36" width="36" fill="currentColor" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true"><path d="M2 0c-.55 0-1.04.23-1.41.59-.36.36-.59.85-.59 1.41 0 .55.23 1.04.59 1.41l3.41 3.41 3.41-3.41c.36-.36.59-.85.59-1.41 0-.55-.23-1.04-.59-1.41-.36-.36-.85-.59-1.41-.59-.55 0-1.04.23-1.41.59-.36.36-.59.85-.59 1.41 0-.55-.23-1.04-.59-1.41-.36-.36-.85-.59-1.41-.59z" transform="translate(0 1)"></path></svg></span></div></div></div></div><div class="kt-infobox-textcontent"><h2 class="kt-blocks-info-box-title">遇到否定與爭辯</h2><p class="kt-blocks-info-box-text">假設閒聊時，對方一直否定你：「運動就該怎樣怎樣」、「減肥就該怎樣怎樣」，盡量閃躲，不正面否定或認同。在作者看來，喜好並沒有正確答案更沒有輸贏。<br/><br/>沒完沒了的反駁，可能會點燃對方的好勝心，讓場面很難堪。假設話題棘手，或是涉及他人隱私、職場八卦，盡快帶過，或是直接謝謝對方、結束對話。</p></div></a></div>



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<p>不過，也要注意，一直讓對方說話、一直問對方問題，自己卻隻字不吭、毫不分享，很容易讓對方感到不安，因此也要適度地自我揭露。</p>



<p>說話時，如果不想給對方壓力、又不希望肢體語言造成對方誤解，可以盯著對方的嘴角，邊說話邊做手勢動作。除非遇到不想聊的人，不然盡可能避免「雙手抱胸」的抗拒姿態。</p>



<p class="has-theme-palette-7-background-color has-background"><strong>延伸閱讀：</strong>喜好可以做為決策依據嗎？〈<a href="https://yuntalks.com/review-love-yourself/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">《讓愛自己變成好習慣》，4大心法助你與恐懼並行，修復自我、翻轉人生</a>〉</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="f809">諮詢不是真的諮詢，故事則不該鉅細靡遺</h2>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">我想聽聽你的意見──真的嗎？</h3>



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<p>有一種特別艱難的對話場景，就是「諮詢」。當遇到對方說：「有事情想找你商量」、「想聽聽你的意見」，作者提醒我們，<em>盡可能不要直接分享你的見解</em>。</p>



<p>你是不是也覺得，別人來商量煩惱時，心中往往已經有答案了？沒錯，很多人的發問，其實只是在尋求認同。因此作者建議我們，在別人主動諮詢時，至少說三次：「這個問題好難耶」、「這真的讓人很煩惱」之類的話，從感情層面的共感切入，閃避直接回答。</p>



<p>畢竟，非當事人，真的不適合給予意見。但作為親人朋友，可以改從情緒層面支持對方，陪伴對方慢慢找出自己想要的作法。</p>



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<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img data-recalc-dims="1" loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="427" src="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/national-cancer-institute-BxXgTQEw1M4-unsplash.jpg?resize=640%2C427&#038;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-1181" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/national-cancer-institute-BxXgTQEw1M4-unsplash-640x427.jpg?resize=640%2C427&amp;ssl=1 640w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/national-cancer-institute-BxXgTQEw1M4-unsplash-640x427.jpg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" /><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@nci?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">National Cancer Institute</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/support?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure></div>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">想說故事，就要具體、好懂、有畫面</h3>



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<p id="aa8e">講到自己的經驗時，有時難免會有其他人物在故事中登場。比起叨叨絮絮介紹出場人物與你的關係，或是擔憂曝光別人的本名，還不如簡單取個無傷大雅的綽號，<strong>讓對話「好懂」、「具體」、「有畫面」</strong>。</p>



<p id="aa8e">開始說故事前，也可以<strong>簡單講一下故事的結論</strong>，讓別人放心傾聽、了解話題的走向，且不用猜測到底要聽多久、故事的意圖是什麼。</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="5c3e">閒聊的禁忌：不可傷害別人，不宜太過模糊</h2>



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<p id="4a9e">在本書的後半段，作者有特別聊到禁忌的閒聊話題。</p>



<p id="4a9e">開始閒聊前，心中要有一把尺，<strong>任何無法含糊回答的事情，都不應該當作話題聊。</strong>比如公司業績、孩子的成績、別人的隱私、非黑即白的話題、敏感議題等，在閒聊中會引發對錯判斷的話題，都要盡力避免。</p>



<p>藝人、政治人物的八卦無傷大雅，但<strong>熟人的八卦謠言，千萬要極力遠離</strong>。如果不幸遇到他人主動挑起這樣的話題，就要趕快閃躲這些失禮的對話，用一般論（這樣啊、是喔）模糊帶過，盡量避免正面回答，才不會惹上麻煩。</p>



<p class="has-theme-palette-7-background-color has-background">《最高閒聊法》最高禁忌：「壞話和八卦謠言千萬不要碰」！</p>



<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img data-recalc-dims="1" loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1000" height="667" src="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/business-executive-making-fun-colleague.jpg?resize=1000%2C667&#038;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-1180" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/business-executive-making-fun-colleague-1000x667.jpg?resize=1000%2C667&amp;ssl=1 1000w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/business-executive-making-fun-colleague-1000x667.jpg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/business-executive-making-fun-colleague-1000x667.jpg?resize=768%2C512&amp;ssl=1 768w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /><figcaption><a href="https://www.freepik.com/photos/office-fun" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Office fun photo created by peoplecreations &#8211; www.freepik.com</a></figcaption></figure></div>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">聊天時，可以吐槽別人嗎？</h3>



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<p id="f997">作者認為，<strong>吐槽是非常高難度的能力，一不小心就會破壞交情、留下負面印象</strong>，要補救非常耗費心力。因此，與其想方設法、力求恰到好處的吐槽，還不如讚美對方，保持<strong>正向的心情交流</strong>。</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">避免過於開放式的發問</h3>



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<p>前面提到，可以詢問對方的近況與「迷上什麼」，但問題過於空泛也會讓聽眾難以回答。五百田認為，比起直接詢問「你最近好嗎？」，還不如關心對方「最近工作順利嗎？」，這樣聽眾才不用在「身體健康、工作、愛情、家庭」等各個面向掙扎，苦於不知道該怎麼回答。</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading">《最高閒聊法》的啟示：為什麼我們該刻意練習聊天？</h2>



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<p id="3717">《不善社交的內向人，怎麼打造好人脈？》作者竹下隆一郎，曾在書中提到，<strong>「名片以外的話題，才是對話的關鍵。</strong>」比起日本拘謹的名片文化，美國人更喜歡 Smalltalk（閒聊）的舒服對話，「深度閒聊」的能力可以幫助你打開人脈。</p>



<p><strong>名片、頭銜會不斷變化，但自己是永遠不會變的。</strong>如果你只會用名片自我介紹，也只會知識性的對談，自然會越來越乏味、沉重。</p>



<p class="has-theme-palette-7-background-color has-background">如果你也想開始閒聊，作者有個不錯的建議：<strong>利用午餐或下午茶邀約「短時間相處」</strong>，並在過程中練習聊天。<strong>聊不下去時，可以用「時間差不多了」結束聚會</strong>，心理壓力自然小一點。<br><br>邀約結束後，也可以善用書中的另一個建議：<strong>簡單致謝</strong>、感謝對方撥空相處閒談。如此，有機會慢慢拉近彼此的距離感。</p>



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<p>學會閒聊到底有什麼好處呢？作者認為，「<em>習得閒聊力，就會對別人感興趣，最後能夠擴展並加深你的人際關係。在極少數的情況下（雖然不會那麼頻繁發生），你甚至能夠交到一輩子的朋友，或是伴侶。</em>」</p>



<p>而我認為，閒聊力的提升，除了讓我們有機會了解第一印象不好的人（很多時候會變成至交），也能讓我們多一點機會接觸新鮮事物，避免因為社交厭倦、對談話的疲乏感，而錯失成長的可能。</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading">書籍總評分</h2>



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<div class="ub_review_block wp-block-ub-review" id="ub_review_2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f"><p class="ub_review_item_name" style="font-size: 28px; text-align: left; ">五白田達成：《最高閒聊法：再尷尬也能聊出花來，一生受用的人際溝通術》（方智出版，2021/12）</p><p class="ub_review_author_name" style="text-align: left; ">評論人：Selena Chen 陳亭勻</p><div class="ub_review_entry"><span>閒聊能力</span><div class="ub_review_stars"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" height="20" width="20" viewbox="0 0 150 150">
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			</svg><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" height="20" width="20" viewbox="0 0 150 150">
			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-0-3"><rect height="150" width="150" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star3" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-0-3)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
			</svg><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" height="20" width="20" viewbox="0 0 150 150">
			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-0-4"><rect height="150" width="150" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star4" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-0-4)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
			</svg></div></div><div class="ub_review_entry"><span>知識深度</span><div class="ub_review_stars"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" height="20" width="20" viewbox="0 0 150 150">
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			</svg><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" height="20" width="20" viewbox="0 0 150 150">
			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-1-2"><rect height="150" width="150" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star2" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-1-2)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
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			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-1-3"><rect height="150" width="75" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star3" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-1-3)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
			</svg><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" height="20" width="20" viewbox="0 0 150 150">
			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-1-4"><rect height="150" width="0" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star4" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-1-4)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
			</svg></div></div><div class="ub_review_entry"><span>譯筆直白</span><div class="ub_review_stars"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" height="20" width="20" viewbox="0 0 150 150">
			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-2-0"><rect height="150" width="150" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star0" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-2-0)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
			</svg><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" height="20" width="20" viewbox="0 0 150 150">
			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-2-1"><rect height="150" width="150" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star1" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-2-1)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
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			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-2-2"><rect height="150" width="150" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star2" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-2-2)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
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			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-2-3"><rect height="150" width="150" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star3" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-2-3)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
			</svg><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" height="20" width="20" viewbox="0 0 150 150">
			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-2-4"><rect height="150" width="0" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star4" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-2a5aee9a-c76e-49a2-a210-8ec7553ab93f-2-4)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
			</svg></div></div><div class="ub_review_entry"><span>步驟清晰</span><div class="ub_review_stars"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" height="20" width="20" viewbox="0 0 150 150">
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			</svg></div></div><div class="ub_review_summary"><p class="ub_review_summary_title" style="">Summary</p><div class="ub_review_overall_value" style=""><p>《最高閒聊法》是溝通專家五百田達成的聊天技法分析，除了界定「閒聊」與「一般對話」的差異，也用 NG / OK 的案例，對比說明聊天的方法。<br><br>作者除了列出 7 個聊天法則，針對聊天內容、目的、對談反應給予建議以外，也提出多人聚會的閒聊方法，以及職場對話的注意事項。書中列舉許多艱難的對話場景，再提供應對的方式與提點，適合有閒聊障礙的讀者閱讀。如能逐一實踐書中技巧，當能改善閒聊能力、擴展人際，與朋友以外的人也能相談甚歡。<br></p><div class="ub_review_average"><span class="ub_review_rating">4.1</span><div class="ub_review_average_stars"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" height="20" width="20" viewbox="0 0 150 150">
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			</svg></div></div></div><div class="ub_review_cta_panel"><div class="ub_review_cta_main" style="justify-content: left; "></div></div></div><script type="application/ld+json">{ "@context": "http://schema.org/", "@type": "Review","reviewBody": "《最高閒聊法》是溝通專家五百田達成的聊天技法分析，除了界定「閒聊」與「一般對話」的差異，也用 NG / OK 的案例，對比說明聊天的方法。作者除了列出 7 個聊天法則，針對聊天內容、目的、對談反應給予建議以外，也提出多人聚會的閒聊方法，以及職場對話的注意事項。書中列舉許多艱難的對話場景，再提供應對的方式與提點，適合有閒聊障礙的讀者閱讀。如能逐一實踐書中技巧，當能改善閒聊能力、擴展人際，與朋友以外的人也能相談甚歡。","description": "", "itemReviewed": { "@type":"Product","name":"五白田達成：《最高閒聊法：再尷尬也能聊出花來，一生受用的人際溝通術》（方智出版，2021/12）","description": "","brand": { "@type": "Brand", "name": "" }, "sku": "", "gtin": "","offers":[]}, "reviewRating":{ "@type": "Rating", "ratingValue": "4.1", "bestRating": "5" }, "author":{ "@type": "Person", "name": "評論人：Selena Chen 陳亭勻" }, "publisher": "", "datePublished": "2026-04-30", "url": "https://yuntalks.com/review-how-chat/" }</script></div>


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<div id="kt-info-box_2b7107-f3" class="wp-block-kadence-infobox"><a class="kt-blocks-info-box-link-wrap info-box-link kt-blocks-info-box-media-align-left kt-info-halign-left" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://www.books.com.tw/exep/assp.php/sunsetc/products/0010909073?utm_source=sunsetc&amp;utm_medium=ap-books&amp;utm_content=recommend&amp;utm_campaign=ap-202202"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media-container"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media kt-info-media-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-container kt-info-icon-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-inner-container"><span style="display:block;justify-content:center;align-items:center" class="kt-info-svg-icon kt-info-svg-icon-ic_cart"><svg style="display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle" viewbox="0 0 8 8" height="26" width="26" fill="currentColor" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true"><path d="M.34 0a.5.5 0 0 0 .16 1h1.5l.09.25.41 1.25.41 1.25c.04.13.21.25.34.25h3.5c.14 0 .3-.12.34-.25l.81-2.5c.04-.13-.02-.25-.16-.25h-4.44l-.38-.72a.5.5 0 0 0-.44-.28h-2a.5.5 0 0 0-.09 0 .5.5 0 0 0-.06 0zm3.16 5c-.28 0-.5.22-.5.5s.22.5.5.5.5-.22.5-.5-.22-.5-.5-.5zm3 0c-.28 0-.5.22-.5.5s.22.5.5.5.5-.22.5-.5-.22-.5-.5-.5z" transform="translate(0 1)"></path></svg></span></div></div></div></div><div class="kt-infobox-textcontent"><h2 class="kt-blocks-info-box-title">利益揭露</h2><p class="kt-blocks-info-box-text">如果你對這本書的觀點有興趣，可到博客來購買《最高閒聊法》。（點擊本文附贈連結購書，我將獲得 4% 回饋金，回饋金將用於流浪動物團體捐款，以及網站營運成本。）<br/>如果你通過點擊本文中的連結來訂購部分書籍，我將有機會從購書平台獲得一定比例的分潤，這將不會影響你的任何權益，也不會提高你購買商品的價格。所有收入所得，將用於支付網站營運成本，並將盈餘所得捐給流浪動物團體。<br/>如果你支持本站，請不吝從本站連結購買需要的產品，非常感謝。</p><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-learnmore-wrap"><span class="kt-blocks-info-box-learnmore">Learn More</span></div></div></a></div>
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		<title>書評書摘｜《不善社交的內向人，怎麼打造好人脈？》，內外向人都需要的職場「關鍵人脈」精準社交術</title>
		<link>https://yuntalks.com/review-networking/</link>
					<comments>https://yuntalks.com/review-networking/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Selena 陳亭勻]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 07 Aug 2021 13:33:55 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[閱讀筆記]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[個人成長]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[全站文章]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[人際關係]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[職涯探索]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[讀書心得]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://yuntalks.com/?p=874</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[《不善社交的內向人，怎麼打造好人脈？》是竹下隆一郎在史丹佛與矽谷學會的七大關鍵人脈法則，希望幫助更多人減少無效社交，專注自己的生活與工作，同時又能打造人脈。

關鍵人脈術的優點，一是能決定自己的經歷，二是能找到一起推動新想法與新專案的人，三是能找到願意一起改變組織的人，從而營造一個充滿動力且能正向循環的團隊。

若能好好實踐、內化，這套關鍵人脈社交法，能相當程度改變你的社交生活，解決你的社交憂慮。]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p>你是內向人嗎？是否曾為了內向的個性苦惱，苦於不被看見？過往人們常以為，內向的人在工作升遷、人際交際上缺乏優勢，由於在「現場」時不自在、鮮少發言，或是出席聚會、活動的頻率相對外向人更少，因此難以突顯個人影響力。但日本作家竹下隆一郎在《<a href="https://www.books.com.tw/exep/assp.php/sunsetc/products/0010870579?utm_source=sunsetc&amp;utm_medium=ap-books&amp;utm_content=recommend&amp;utm_campaign=ap-202009" target="_blank" rel="noopener">不善社交的內向人，怎麼打造好人脈？</a>》一書指出，<strong>這個世界已然轉變，現在正是內向人也能活躍發展的好時代。</strong></p>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img data-recalc-dims="1" loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="536" src="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/networking-book-cover.jpg?resize=1024%2C536&#038;ssl=1" alt="networking-book-關鍵人脈-精準社交-職場-溝通-商務教練-心法-社交憂慮-社交生活-不善社交的內向人-怎麼打造好人脈" class="wp-image-876" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/networking-book-cover-1200x628.jpg?resize=1024%2C536&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/networking-book-cover-1200x628.jpg?resize=300%2C157&amp;ssl=1 300w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/networking-book-cover-1200x628.jpg?resize=768%2C402&amp;ssl=1 768w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/networking-book-cover-1200x628.jpg?resize=1200%2C628&amp;ssl=1 1200w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /><figcaption>竹下隆一郎：《<a href="https://www.books.com.tw/exep/assp.php/sunsetc/products/0010870579?utm_source=sunsetc&amp;utm_medium=ap-books&amp;utm_content=recommend&amp;utm_campaign=ap-202009" target="_blank" rel="noopener">不善社交的內向人，怎麼打造好人脈？</a>》，2020年10月，采實文化</figcaption></figure>



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<div id="kt-info-box_1a64db-25" class="wp-block-kadence-infobox"><a class="kt-blocks-info-box-link-wrap info-box-link kt-blocks-info-box-media-align-top kt-info-halign-center"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media-container"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media kt-info-media-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-container kt-info-icon-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-inner-container"><span style="display:block;justify-content:center;align-items:center" class="kt-info-svg-icon kt-info-svg-icon-fas_info-circle"><svg style="display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle" viewbox="0 0 512 512" height="26" width="26" fill="currentColor" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true"><path d="M256 8C119.043 8 8 119.083 8 256c0 136.997 111.043 248 248 248s248-111.003 248-248C504 119.083 392.957 8 256 8zm0 110c23.196 0 42 18.804 42 42s-18.804 42-42 42-42-18.804-42-42 18.804-42 42-42zm56 254c0 6.627-5.373 12-12 12h-88c-6.627 0-12-5.373-12-12v-24c0-6.627 5.373-12 12-12h12v-64h-12c-6.627 0-12-5.373-12-12v-24c0-6.627 5.373-12 12-12h64c6.627 0 12 5.373 12 12v100h12c6.627 0 12 5.373 12 12v24z"></path></svg></span></div></div></div></div><div class="kt-infobox-textcontent"><h2 class="kt-blocks-info-box-title">版權聲明</h2><p class="kt-blocks-info-box-text">本文於 2020/09/26 首發於 Selena 的 Medium 專欄。因平台自由度考量，日後所有文章都將轉回本站發表，歡迎來此追蹤。</p></div></a></div>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading">這本書在談什麼？</h2>



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<p>全球一流媒體《哈芬登郵報》日本版總編竹下隆一郎，自覺自己是討厭社交的內向人，因工作需求，每天要應付各種交際。</p>



<p>後來，他前往美國矽谷的史丹佛大學擔任客座教授，由於Apple、Facebook、Google、Twitter等全球知名科技公司都位於矽谷，他努力與投資家、創業家、工程師等各種人物認識見面，以為這樣會對打造人脈有所幫助，結果卻是白忙一場。</p>



<p>反觀矽谷人不應酬、不招待、不送禮，但仍然成功與他人打好關係，建立密切合作，這讓他非常震撼。本書是竹下隆一郎在史丹佛與矽谷學會的七大關鍵人脈法則，希望幫助更多人減少無效社交，專注自己的生活與工作，同時又能打造人脈。</p>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img data-recalc-dims="1" loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="682" src="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_On7Xh-QQwZXB1aICtnG0Sw-1.jpeg?resize=1024%2C682&#038;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-877" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_On7Xh-QQwZXB1aICtnG0Sw-1-1400x933.jpeg?resize=1024%2C682&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_On7Xh-QQwZXB1aICtnG0Sw-1-1400x933.jpeg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_On7Xh-QQwZXB1aICtnG0Sw-1-1400x933.jpeg?resize=768%2C512&amp;ssl=1 768w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_On7Xh-QQwZXB1aICtnG0Sw-1-1400x933.jpeg?resize=1400%2C933&amp;ssl=1 1400w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /><figcaption>Photo by&nbsp;<a href="https://unsplash.com/@kchance8?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Kelsey Chance</a>&nbsp;on&nbsp;<a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>為什麼這個時代適合內向人？</strong></h2>



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<p>市面上有不少書強調內向人的交際學，竹下隆一郎也並非第一位提倡此觀點的人，但這本書的脈絡清晰，觀察與執行方法也相當實際。我想先跟各位分享作者的觀點，再來談為什麼這本書觸動了我。</p>



<p>作者認為，這個社會目前有很明顯的四大潮流：</p>



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<div id="kt-info-box_c5b1a4-e7" class="wp-block-kadence-infobox"><a class="kt-blocks-info-box-link-wrap info-box-link kt-blocks-info-box-media-align-left kt-info-halign-left"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media-container"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media kt-info-media-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-container kt-info-icon-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-inner-container"><span style="display:block;justify-content:center;align-items:center" class="kt-info-svg-icon kt-info-svg-icon-fe_globe"><svg style="display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle" viewbox="0 0 24 24" height="26" width="26" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" aria-hidden="true"><circle cx="12" cy="12" r="10"></circle><line x1="2" y1="12" x2="22" y2="12"></line><path d="M12 2a15.3 15.3 0 0 1 4 10 15.3 15.3 0 0 1-4 10 15.3 15.3 0 0 1-4-10 15.3 15.3 0 0 1 4-10z"></path></svg></span></div></div></div></div><div class="kt-infobox-textcontent"><h2 class="kt-blocks-info-box-title"><strong>「逆金字塔型」的人脈</strong></h2><p class="kt-blocks-info-box-text">跨界與業內活動頻繁，基層員工比起高層幹部更有機會擁有關鍵人脈，而不受秩序、頭銜、職稱等限制。</p></div></a></div>



<div id="kt-info-box_b018de-84" class="wp-block-kadence-infobox"><a class="kt-blocks-info-box-link-wrap info-box-link kt-blocks-info-box-media-align-left kt-info-halign-left"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media-container"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media kt-info-media-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-container kt-info-icon-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-inner-container"><span style="display:block;justify-content:center;align-items:center" class="kt-info-svg-icon kt-info-svg-icon-ic_people"><svg style="display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle" viewbox="0 0 8 8" height="26" width="26" fill="currentColor" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true"><path d="M5.5 0c-.51 0-.95.35-1.22.88.45.54.72 1.28.72 2.13 0 .29-.03.55-.09.81.19.11.38.19.59.19.83 0 1.5-.9 1.5-2s-.67-2-1.5-2zm-3 1c-.83 0-1.5.9-1.5 2s.67 2 1.5 2 1.5-.9 1.5-2-.67-2-1.5-2zm4.75 3.16c-.43.51-1.02.82-1.69.84.27.38.44.84.44 1.34v.66h2v-1.66c0-.52-.31-.97-.75-1.19zm-6.5 1c-.44.22-.75.67-.75 1.19v1.66h5v-1.66c0-.52-.31-.97-.75-1.19-.45.53-1.06.84-1.75.84s-1.3-.32-1.75-.84z"></path></svg></span></div></div></div></div><div class="kt-infobox-textcontent"><h2 class="kt-blocks-info-box-title"><strong>個人活動不斷出現</strong></h2><p class="kt-blocks-info-box-text">普通人的影響力增強。從各種軟體、服務、產品的推廣活動，到募資提案、辦活動，個人就能驅動事務發展。</p></div></a></div>



<div id="kt-info-box_739bdd-67" class="wp-block-kadence-infobox"><a class="kt-blocks-info-box-link-wrap info-box-link kt-blocks-info-box-media-align-left kt-info-halign-left"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media-container"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media kt-info-media-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-container kt-info-icon-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-inner-container"><span style="display:block;justify-content:center;align-items:center" class="kt-info-svg-icon kt-info-svg-icon-fas_laptop"><svg style="display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle" viewbox="0 0 640 512" height="26" width="26" fill="currentColor" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true"><path d="M624 416H381.54c-.74 19.81-14.71 32-32.74 32H288c-18.69 0-33.02-17.47-32.77-32H16c-8.8 0-16 7.2-16 16v16c0 35.2 28.8 64 64 64h512c35.2 0 64-28.8 64-64v-16c0-8.8-7.2-16-16-16zM576 48c0-26.4-21.6-48-48-48H112C85.6 0 64 21.6 64 48v336h512V48zm-64 272H128V64h384v256z"></path></svg></span></div></div></div></div><div class="kt-infobox-textcontent"><h2 class="kt-blocks-info-box-title"><strong>溝通加速</strong></h2><p class="kt-blocks-info-box-text">繁瑣的 E-mail 文化逐漸退燒，Slack、視訊會議、各種通訊軟體的崛起，讓溝通不再停滯。</p></div></a></div>



<div id="kt-info-box_e19bcb-df" class="wp-block-kadence-infobox"><a class="kt-blocks-info-box-link-wrap info-box-link kt-blocks-info-box-media-align-left kt-info-halign-left"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media-container"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media kt-info-media-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-container kt-info-icon-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-inner-container"><span style="display:block;justify-content:center;align-items:center" class="kt-info-svg-icon kt-info-svg-icon-ic_home"><svg style="display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle" viewbox="0 0 8 8" height="26" width="26" fill="currentColor" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true"><path d="M4 0l-4 3h1v4h2v-2h2v2h2v-4.03l1 .03-4-3z"></path></svg></span></div></div></div></div><div class="kt-infobox-textcontent"><h2 class="kt-blocks-info-box-title"><strong>享受「家中時光」的改革</strong></h2><p class="kt-blocks-info-box-text">更追求「生活與工作平衡（Life/Work Balance）」。長時間工作而放棄生活的人，由於形同放棄某部分的社會責任，不再受人尊敬。</p></div></a></div>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img data-recalc-dims="1" loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_u1BPiuxHwtsC5XMLzoEepg-1.jpeg?resize=1024%2C768&#038;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-878" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_u1BPiuxHwtsC5XMLzoEepg-1-1600x1200.jpeg?resize=1024%2C768&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_u1BPiuxHwtsC5XMLzoEepg-1-1600x1200.jpeg?resize=300%2C225&amp;ssl=1 300w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_u1BPiuxHwtsC5XMLzoEepg-1-1600x1200.jpeg?resize=768%2C576&amp;ssl=1 768w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_u1BPiuxHwtsC5XMLzoEepg-1-1600x1200.jpeg?resize=1536%2C1152&amp;ssl=1 1536w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_u1BPiuxHwtsC5XMLzoEepg-1-1600x1200.jpeg?resize=1600%2C1200&amp;ssl=1 1600w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /><figcaption>竹下隆一郎：《<a href="https://www.books.com.tw/exep/assp.php/sunsetc/products/0010870579?utm_source=sunsetc&amp;utm_medium=ap-books&amp;utm_content=recommend&amp;utm_campaign=ap-202009" target="_blank" rel="noopener">不善社交的內向人，怎麼打造好人脈？</a>》，2020年10月，采實文化</figcaption></figure>



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<p>過去崇尚「人脈怪獸」、比拚人脈多寡的世界，由於網際網路發達，資訊透明化等因素，已然變成機會平等的扁平世界。竹下隆一郎點出，<strong>在一個大家都從社群平台接收資訊的時代，高中生和政府高官看到的資訊是一樣的。</strong></p>



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<figure class="wp-block-pullquote"><blockquote><p><em><em>換言之，資訊的價值已不再因 Input （輸入）而珍稀，重要的是 Output （產出）的過程與結果。</em></em></p></blockquote></figure>



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<p>可以說，善於長時間與自己相處、對話，且能深入思考，就是內向人的一項優勢。而由於不需要（也無法）單靠人脈多寡解決問題，因此內向人與外向人站在同一個起跑點上，不再有明顯的劣勢。</p>



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<div id="kt-info-box_f675d2-8f" class="wp-block-kadence-infobox"><a class="kt-blocks-info-box-link-wrap info-box-link kt-blocks-info-box-media-align-left kt-info-halign-left"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media-container"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media kt-info-media-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-container kt-info-icon-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-inner-container"><span style="display:block;justify-content:center;align-items:center" class="kt-info-svg-icon kt-info-svg-icon-ic_key"><svg style="display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle" viewbox="0 0 8 8" height="26" width="26" fill="currentColor" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true"><path d="M5.5 0c-1.38 0-2.5 1.12-2.5 2.5 0 .16 0 .32.03.47l-3.03 3.03v2h3v-2h2v-1l.03-.03c.15.03.31.03.47.03 1.38 0 2.5-1.12 2.5-2.5s-1.12-2.5-2.5-2.5zm.5 1c.55 0 1 .45 1 1s-.45 1-1 1-1-.45-1-1 .45-1 1-1z"></path></svg></span></div></div></div></div><div class="kt-infobox-textcontent"><h2 class="kt-blocks-info-box-title">個性並不是能否成大事的關鍵</h2><p class="kt-blocks-info-box-text">Uniqlo（優衣庫）創辦人柳井正，下班不參加夜間應酬，更熱衷與自己的內在對話，他也是個明顯的內向人。不過，扁平資訊經由他內心的深化、轉換，能得到的成果與價值卻能倍增。</p></div></a></div>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading">為什麼我喜歡「關鍵人脈」的概念？</h2>



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<p>本書作者竹下隆一郎提倡的「關鍵人脈」「精準社交術」，並不是要我們積極瞄準、一心只想認識所謂的大人物，而是要我們從個人喜好出發，用沒有負擔的方式，<strong>先找到七個「喜歡的人」，再開始深入經營個人人脈</strong>。</p>



<p>我個人很喜歡這套做法，而且認為這也適合外向人學習。</p>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img data-recalc-dims="1" loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_j1IqyXE1FcR0VUdwibvMFg-1.jpeg?resize=1024%2C768&#038;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-879" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_j1IqyXE1FcR0VUdwibvMFg-1-1920x1440.jpeg?resize=1024%2C768&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_j1IqyXE1FcR0VUdwibvMFg-1-1920x1440.jpeg?resize=300%2C225&amp;ssl=1 300w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_j1IqyXE1FcR0VUdwibvMFg-1-1920x1440.jpeg?resize=768%2C576&amp;ssl=1 768w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_j1IqyXE1FcR0VUdwibvMFg-1-1920x1440.jpeg?resize=1536%2C1152&amp;ssl=1 1536w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_j1IqyXE1FcR0VUdwibvMFg-1-1920x1440.jpeg?resize=1920%2C1440&amp;ssl=1 1920w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /><figcaption>Photo by&nbsp;<a href="https://unsplash.com/@aaronburden?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Aaron Burden</a>&nbsp;on&nbsp;<a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/reading?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure>



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<p>身處科技業，我在幾個不同產業待過，但同樣都遇上人脈經營的困擾。當周圍的人都在參加社群活動、下班進修，致力交換名片、擴展 LinkedIn、臉書或 IG 的朋友圈時，這樣的生活對我而言太沉重，帶來極大的精神負擔。</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">原先的社交生活讓我很困擾</h3>



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<p>我是個「非常外向」的「內向人」，這樣的描述很矛盾，容我稍作解釋。</p>



<p id="27f1">無論是上台報告、演講、臨時主持活動，或是要在一大群人中主動發言、打趣說笑，對我而言都是相當本能、簡單的事情。不過，這單純只是因為我對於「表達」並無任何障礙。</p>



<p id="2f02">但回歸內心深處，我個人更喜歡長時間獨處，讀書、讀文章、做自己喜歡的事。要我長時間社交、保持對他人的關注與興趣，坦白說，相當折磨人。特別當我過了三十歲，歷經職場許多事後，我察覺自己更喜歡只與少數人相處。</p>



<p id="528e">這樣的轉變，讓我相當困惑：</p>



<p id="cb39">「我是不是越來越孤僻了？我這樣好嗎？如果團隊或公司，需要我去認識更多人、找到更多資源，我這樣做是不是辜負了期待？」</p>



<p id="ae6b">就在此時，我讀到竹下隆一郎引述他的商學院教授 Susan Carleton Athey 「三明治口味論」，告訴讀者：</p>



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<figure class="wp-block-pullquote"><blockquote><p><em><em><em>「大家進入商業世界後，肯定會遇到不知道哪邊才是正確的，讓自己煩惱不已的時候。也許這時候，就要像選擇三明治口味時一樣，相信自己的直覺。」</em></em></em></p></blockquote></figure>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="5749">喜好也可以是個抉擇的關鍵</h3>



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<p id="d0a1">從前人們不愛講「喜歡」，彷彿「憑個人喜好」提出決策是相當膚淺、不成熟的行為。但是，人生有很多時候，必須根據自己的價值觀和生存方式，而不是依照客觀的標準來作兩難抉擇。</p>



<p id="f13f">當然，你必須夠了解自己，經常進行思考鍛鍊，才能得出發自本心的答案。而我的答案就是，我比較喜歡跟少數認同的人來往，何錯之有？</p>



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<p class="has-theme-palette-7-background-color has-background"><strong>延伸閱讀：</strong>〈<a href="https://yuntalks.com/review-love-yourself/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">《讓愛自己變成好習慣》，4大心法助你與恐懼並行，修復自我、翻轉人生</a>〉</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="f809">讓社交從七個「喜歡的人」開始</h3>



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<p id="6c82">說起來，談到社交的本質，本來就是一件「一旦開始建立關係，聯繫就會越來越頻繁」的複雜事。換言之，如果我們為了種種目的，認識太多人，一旦需要與「不喜歡的人」締結關係，要長久來往就會變成一種負擔。</p>



<p id="26f7">作者建議，寫下七個喜歡的人（無關性別或戀愛），與這些人好好相處，一方面能越來越了解自己的喜好與價值觀，另一方面也能用較為正向的方式，擴展自己的交際圈。</p>



<p id="26f7">畢竟，這些人都是你喜歡的人，跟喜歡的人相處，就算偶有意見不合，怎樣都比和處不來的人來往更為快樂。</p>



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<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img data-recalc-dims="1" loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="700" height="466" src="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_hZqTYrzn4Grn3j_V16YTVA-1.jpeg?resize=700%2C466&#038;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-880" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_hZqTYrzn4Grn3j_V16YTVA-1-700x466.jpeg?resize=700%2C466&amp;ssl=1 700w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_hZqTYrzn4Grn3j_V16YTVA-1-700x466.jpeg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px" /><figcaption>Photo by&nbsp;<a href="https://unsplash.com/@bewakoofofficial?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Bewakoof.com Official</a>&nbsp;on&nbsp;<a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure></div>



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<p id="aa8e">當然，擴展、探索關鍵人脈，不僅僅是「只跟喜歡的人來往」，他還有其他的關鍵方法。礙於篇幅，我摘要重點於下：</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="5c3e">一個人的口頭禪，能分辨是否值得深交</h3>



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<p id="4a9e">這段在書中相當精采，很推薦讀者找來看看。作者用一場即興短劇，說明人的口頭禪，對團隊情境與人際關係的影響力。</p>



<p id="f997">作者建議我們<strong>遠離「假裝贊同」的人</strong>，避免「話是這樣說」、「儘管如此」、「好啊，但是」這類模糊不清的說法，選擇跟直率的人深交。</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading">不交換名片就開始對話：職場對話的秘訣</h2>



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<p id="3717"><strong>名片以外的話題，才是對話的關鍵。</strong>竹下隆一郎在矽谷時意識到，比起日本拘謹的名片文化，美國人更喜歡 Smalltalk（閒聊）的舒服對話，因此開始練習「深度閒聊」的能力，也很習慣到處收集閒聊的話題、有趣的點子。</p>



<p><strong>名片，頭銜會不斷變化，但自己是永遠不會變的。</strong>只用名片自我介紹是一件相當乏味且沉重的事情。</p>



<p>如果你也不善常用三句話介紹自己，或是跟人閒聊總陷入句點的終結對話模式，不妨讀讀這段自由對話的密技：「好好問，好好聽，不要只關注自己能講得多好」。</p>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img data-recalc-dims="1" loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="683" src="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_r1KW7lkyaEcpbsEboNfoOg-1.jpeg?resize=1024%2C683&#038;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-881" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_r1KW7lkyaEcpbsEboNfoOg-1-1920x1280.jpeg?resize=1024%2C683&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_r1KW7lkyaEcpbsEboNfoOg-1-1920x1280.jpeg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_r1KW7lkyaEcpbsEboNfoOg-1-1920x1280.jpeg?resize=768%2C512&amp;ssl=1 768w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_r1KW7lkyaEcpbsEboNfoOg-1-1920x1280.jpeg?resize=1536%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 1536w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_r1KW7lkyaEcpbsEboNfoOg-1-1920x1280.jpeg?resize=1920%2C1280&amp;ssl=1 1920w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /><figcaption>Photo by&nbsp;<a href="https://unsplash.com/@jontyson?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Jon Tyson</a>&nbsp;on&nbsp;<a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/name?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">找到自己專屬的「商務教練」，並學會分辨煩惱的等級</h3>



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<p>這裡的商務教練並非直指專業教練，公司或職場外的導師（Mentor）、你信任的重要朋友都可以是自己的商務教練。</p>



<p>特別值得一提的是，作者在這段提出了「白宮煩惱」與「咖啡廳煩惱」，是我最近與人相聚最愛分享的觀點。人的煩惱有很多種，有些是永恆的人生課題，有些是真實可解決的現實煩惱。</p>



<p>在尋找商務教練之前，搞清楚討論的目的，不要讓討論淪為日復一日的抱怨取暖大會，最終什麼都沒解決。</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">用抽象問題跳脫同溫層溝通</h3>



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<p>人們很喜歡舉例，但竹下隆一郎從史丹佛研究人員與作家「細谷功」的分享中了解，「具體性會危害思考的多樣性」。這點也是書中讓我眼睛一亮的論點！我們很習慣用舉例的方式，帶領聽眾快速進入情境，但我們是否想過，每個人的想像，可能很不一樣呢？</p>



<p>我曾跟捷克（Česko）的朋友聊到「捷運／地鐵」，看到對方一臉嫌惡的臉，就知道國外的捷運跟台灣截然不同，不能用自己的經驗概括他人的世界。2020 年，我加入一間外商公司後，對「想像與舉例」的感觸就更深了。</p>



<p>最近一次的公司大會上，其中一位主講者使用一張迷因圖，但因文化差異，對某些地區的同事來說那張圖相當冒犯。當我看到那則抗議的留言時，我立刻想到想像與舉例的危險，並警惕自己要很小心跨國跨文化的溝通方式。</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">善用「紙筆」來對話，溝通更深刻；結交「痞子」，帶來突破創新</h3>



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<p>最後這兩點，前者強調具體行為，後者強調對話中的破壞式創新，這裡就不細說書中內容，留給讀者自行體會。</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading">關鍵人脈術的價值與實踐提醒</h2>



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<p>作者認為，關鍵人脈術的優點，一是能決定自己的經歷，二是能找到一起推動新想法與新專案的人，三是能找到願意一起改變組織的人。</p>



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<div id="kt-info-box_92e433-ae" class="wp-block-kadence-infobox"><a class="kt-blocks-info-box-link-wrap info-box-link kt-blocks-info-box-media-align-top kt-info-halign-center"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media-container"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media kt-info-media-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-container kt-info-icon-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-inner-container"><span style="display:block;justify-content:center;align-items:center" class="kt-info-svg-icon kt-info-svg-icon-fas_hand-holding-heart"><svg style="display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle" viewbox="0 0 576 512" height="26" width="26" fill="currentColor" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true"><path d="M275.3 250.5c7 7.4 18.4 7.4 25.5 0l108.9-114.2c31.6-33.2 29.8-88.2-5.6-118.8-30.8-26.7-76.7-21.9-104.9 7.7L288 36.9l-11.1-11.6C248.7-4.4 202.8-9.2 172 17.5c-35.3 30.6-37.2 85.6-5.6 118.8l108.9 114.2zm290 77.6c-11.8-10.7-30.2-10-42.6 0L430.3 402c-11.3 9.1-25.4 14-40 14H272c-8.8 0-16-7.2-16-16s7.2-16 16-16h78.3c15.9 0 30.7-10.9 33.3-26.6 3.3-20-12.1-37.4-31.6-37.4H192c-27 0-53.1 9.3-74.1 26.3L71.4 384H16c-8.8 0-16 7.2-16 16v96c0 8.8 7.2 16 16 16h356.8c14.5 0 28.6-4.9 40-14L564 377c15.2-12.1 16.4-35.3 1.3-48.9z"></path></svg></span></div></div></div></div><div class="kt-infobox-textcontent"><h2 class="kt-blocks-info-box-title">找到關鍵人脈的好處</h2><p class="kt-blocks-info-box-text">由於是和喜歡的人一起行動，能不斷累積能量，創造工作。且因為是彼此了解、關係深厚的團隊，行動上會更有連結、充滿正向的氛圍。<br/><br/>為什麼我認為關鍵人脈術不僅適合內向人，也很適合外向人？<br/>因為他談的就是「如何找到能一起共事、營造一個充滿動力且能正向循環的團隊」。</p></div></a></div>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">不過，我們要如何在職場上找到喜歡一起共事的人呢？</h3>



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<p>看到這裡，內向的人可能會煩惱：「我怎麼確定自己喜不喜歡這個人呢？」其實，方法可以很簡單，比如一起散步，看沿途聊不聊得來，或是詢問一些跟價值觀有關的試探性問題。</p>



<p>也可以問問自己，如果跟此人建立關係，我願意在 LINE、臉書上與此人增加往來或閒聊嗎？換言之，你願意跟這個人有更深入的連結嗎？</p>



<p>找到以後，也不要忘記保持熱度，常常相處，這樣關鍵人脈的影響力才能真正發揮（不要輕易讓好不容易找到的關鍵人脈淪為路人之流）。</p>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img data-recalc-dims="1" loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="576" src="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_ZNfqx_8yQzq7-XY-nxElDg-1.jpeg?resize=1024%2C576&#038;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-882" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_ZNfqx_8yQzq7-XY-nxElDg-1-1920x1080.jpeg?resize=1024%2C576&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_ZNfqx_8yQzq7-XY-nxElDg-1-1920x1080.jpeg?resize=300%2C169&amp;ssl=1 300w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_ZNfqx_8yQzq7-XY-nxElDg-1-1920x1080.jpeg?resize=768%2C432&amp;ssl=1 768w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_ZNfqx_8yQzq7-XY-nxElDg-1-1920x1080.jpeg?resize=1536%2C864&amp;ssl=1 1536w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_ZNfqx_8yQzq7-XY-nxElDg-1-1920x1080.jpeg?resize=1920%2C1080&amp;ssl=1 1920w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /><figcaption>Photo by&nbsp;<a href="https://unsplash.com/@miinyuii?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Duy Pham</a>&nbsp;on&nbsp;<a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/friend?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">了解夥伴也會有離場的時候</h3>



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<p>我喜歡這本書的其中一個原因，是作者在暢談「喜歡的人」這個關鍵因子後，不忘在末尾點出「聚散終有時」的觀念。</p>



<p>無論是再喜歡的人，都有可能不再合得來。失去一個曾經緊密聯繫的人，一定很痛。因此，提早做好「一期一會」的心理準備，平時多多相處，抱著「後會亦有期」的展望，大概是比較能不留下遺憾的做法。</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">有時候，我們也需要變成外向的人</h3>



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<p>最後，竹下隆一郎也提醒大家，作為一個內向的人，只和自己喜歡的人來往，自然會遇到「停滯」的時候。這與整本書暢談的理念有所衝突，但卻是可預期的結果。人如果只跟處得來的人相處，一定會落入舒適圈的狹隘處境。</p>



<p>如果要破解這樣的情況，最簡單的解法就是定時跳出舒適圈：偶爾舉辦大型聚會，或把自己拋到人前，藉由短暫的「人脈爆發期」，強迫自己接觸人群，然後重新審視自己，讓僵化的關係也能藉此機會稍作調整。</p>



<p>無須頻繁參加聚會，只要偶爾一次人脈爆發，內向人也能獲得更多成長的機會。</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading">總評：帶領我深入思考社交本質的好書</h2>



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<p>這次獲「采實文化」贈書邀稿（無酬只有一本書，良心寫作）。坦白說，工作繁忙本想拒絕，後來是因為想強迫自己看書，所以答應寫篇不審稿的讀後心得。讀完卻很有感觸，在意外的情況下找到自己社交困境的解法（感觸良多，不小心把心得寫太長了。）</p>



<p>也才終於意識到，在職場與生活中，有「能理解自己」的「喜歡的人」，確實是一件值得花時間經營的事。而大膽遠離、無視自己不那麼喜歡的人，也同樣重要。（沒錯，作者建議我們就大膽無視那些讓自己不舒服的人，用「冷漠以對」的方式換取和平。真的不用強迫自己當個和善的交際王。）</p>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img data-recalc-dims="1" loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_dUXgOtLLCibzl7XKfUWaUg.jpeg?resize=1024%2C1024&#038;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-883" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_dUXgOtLLCibzl7XKfUWaUg-1200x1200.jpeg?resize=1024%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_dUXgOtLLCibzl7XKfUWaUg-1200x1200.jpeg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_dUXgOtLLCibzl7XKfUWaUg-1200x1200.jpeg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_dUXgOtLLCibzl7XKfUWaUg-1200x1200.jpeg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https://i0.wp.com/yuntalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1_dUXgOtLLCibzl7XKfUWaUg-1200x1200.jpeg?resize=1200%2C1200&amp;ssl=1 1200w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /><figcaption>Photo by&nbsp;<a href="https://unsplash.com/@littleforestowl?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Katrina Wright</a>&nbsp;on&nbsp;<a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/believe?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure>



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<p>這本書並不是字數爆多、排版極度紮實的翻譯書，以我個人的閱讀速度，約莫一個小時就能輕鬆閱畢。</p>



<p>不過，一本書的價值，從來不是字數多寡。前述的「白宮煩惱」、「人脈爆發」、「同溫層問題」等，都是看似淺顯但我過去無法突破的問題，這本書幫我解決這些問題，就相當有幫助了。</p>



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<p>如果你也像我一樣：</p>



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<div class="wp-block-kadence-iconlist kt-svg-icon-list-items kt-svg-icon-list-items_9e8d8a-64 kt-svg-icon-list-columns-1 alignnone"><ul class="kt-svg-icon-list"><li class="kt-svg-icon-list-style-default kt-svg-icon-list-item-wrap kt-svg-icon-list-item-0"><div style="display:inline-flex;justify-content:center;align-items:center" class="kt-svg-icon-list-single kt-svg-icon-list-single-fe_checkCircle"><svg style="display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle" viewbox="0 0 24 24" height="20" width="20" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" aria-hidden="true"><path d="M22 11.08V12a10 10 0 1 1-5.93-9.14"></path><polyline points="22 4 12 14.01 9 11.01"></polyline></svg></div><span class="kt-svg-icon-list-text">明明參加了大型聚會，但對於會後的交流交際感到茫然無措；</span></li><li class="kt-svg-icon-list-style-default kt-svg-icon-list-item-wrap kt-svg-icon-list-item-1"><div style="display:inline-flex;justify-content:center;align-items:center" class="kt-svg-icon-list-single kt-svg-icon-list-single-fe_checkCircle"><svg style="display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle" viewbox="0 0 24 24" height="20" width="20" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" aria-hidden="true"><path d="M22 11.08V12a10 10 0 1 1-5.93-9.14"></path><polyline points="22 4 12 14.01 9 11.01"></polyline></svg></div><span class="kt-svg-icon-list-text">對於社交感到遲疑、不理解社交的價值；</span></li><li class="kt-svg-icon-list-style-default kt-svg-icon-list-item-wrap kt-svg-icon-list-item-2"><div style="display:inline-flex;justify-content:center;align-items:center" class="kt-svg-icon-list-single kt-svg-icon-list-single-fe_checkCircle"><svg style="display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle" viewbox="0 0 24 24" height="20" width="20" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" aria-hidden="true"><path d="M22 11.08V12a10 10 0 1 1-5.93-9.14"></path><polyline points="22 4 12 14.01 9 11.01"></polyline></svg></div><span class="kt-svg-icon-list-text">擅長商務溝通與對話，與陌生人閒聊卻總是不太自在；</span></li><li class="kt-svg-icon-list-style-default kt-svg-icon-list-item-wrap kt-svg-icon-list-item-3"><div style="display:inline-flex;justify-content:center;align-items:center" class="kt-svg-icon-list-single kt-svg-icon-list-single-fe_checkCircle"><svg style="display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle" viewbox="0 0 24 24" height="20" width="20" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" aria-hidden="true"><path d="M22 11.08V12a10 10 0 1 1-5.93-9.14"></path><polyline points="22 4 12 14.01 9 11.01"></polyline></svg></div><span class="kt-svg-icon-list-text">與喜歡的人們疏離，不曉得該怎麼整合人際圈；</span></li><li class="kt-svg-icon-list-style-default kt-svg-icon-list-item-wrap kt-svg-icon-list-item-4"><div style="display:inline-flex;justify-content:center;align-items:center" class="kt-svg-icon-list-single kt-svg-icon-list-single-fe_checkCircle"><svg style="display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle" viewbox="0 0 24 24" height="20" width="20" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" aria-hidden="true"><path d="M22 11.08V12a10 10 0 1 1-5.93-9.14"></path><polyline points="22 4 12 14.01 9 11.01"></polyline></svg></div><span class="kt-svg-icon-list-text">希望留給自己更多時間，但也希望學會高效連結、深度社交的方法。</span></li></ul></div>



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<p>那麼，無論你是內向人還是外向人，這本<a href="https://www.books.com.tw/exep/assp.php/sunsetc/products/0010870579?utm_source=sunsetc&amp;utm_medium=ap-books&amp;utm_content=recommend&amp;utm_campaign=ap-202009" target="_blank" rel="noopener">《不擅社交的內向人，怎麼打造好人脈？》</a>都很值得一讀。我相信，若能好好實踐、內化，這套關鍵人脈社交法，能相當程度改變你的社交生活，解決你的社交憂慮。</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading">書籍總評分</h2>



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<div class="ub_review_block wp-block-ub-review" id="ub_review_a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582"><p class="ub_review_item_name" style="font-size: 28px; text-align: left; ">竹下隆一郎：《不善社交的內向人，怎麼打造好人脈？》（采實文化，2020/10）</p><p class="ub_review_author_name" style="text-align: left; ">評論人：Selena Chen 陳亭勻</p><div class="ub_review_entry"><span>心靈啟發</span><div class="ub_review_stars"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" height="20" width="20" viewbox="0 0 150 150">
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			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582-0-2"><rect height="150" width="150" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star2" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582-0-2)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
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			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582-0-4"><rect height="150" width="75" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star4" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582-0-4)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
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			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582-2-3"><rect height="150" width="150" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star3" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582-2-3)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
			</svg><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" height="20" width="20" viewbox="0 0 150 150">
			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582-2-4"><rect height="150" width="0" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star4" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582-2-4)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
			</svg></div></div><div class="ub_review_entry"><span>步驟清晰</span><div class="ub_review_stars"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" height="20" width="20" viewbox="0 0 150 150">
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			</svg><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" height="20" width="20" viewbox="0 0 150 150">
			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582-3-1"><rect height="150" width="150" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star1" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582-3-1)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
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			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582-3-2"><rect height="150" width="150" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star2" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582-3-2)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
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			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582-3-3"><rect height="150" width="150" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star3" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582-3-3)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
			</svg><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" height="20" width="20" viewbox="0 0 150 150">
			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582-3-4"><rect height="150" width="75" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star4" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582-3-4)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
			</svg></div></div><div class="ub_review_summary"><p class="ub_review_summary_title" style="">Summary</p><div class="ub_review_overall_value" style=""><p>《不善社交的內向人，怎麼打造好人脈？》是竹下隆一郎在史丹佛與矽谷學會的七大關鍵人脈法則，希望幫助更多人減少無效社交，專注自己的生活與工作，同時又能打造人脈。<br><br>關鍵人脈術的優點，一是能決定自己的經歷，二是能找到一起推動新想法與新專案的人，三是能找到願意一起改變組織的人，從而營造一個充滿動力且能正向循環的團隊。<br><br>若能好好實踐、內化，這套關鍵人脈社交法，能相當程度改變你的社交生活，解決你的社交憂慮。<br></p><div class="ub_review_average"><span class="ub_review_rating">4.3</span><div class="ub_review_average_stars"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" height="20" width="20" viewbox="0 0 150 150">
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			<defs><mask id="ub_review_star_filter-a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582-average-2"><rect height="150" width="150" y="0" x="0" fill="#fff"></rect></mask></defs> <path fill="#888888" stroke-width="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path><path class="star" id="star2" mask="url(#ub_review_star_filter-a5c2411a-6310-4b1a-b77d-fbb9f36b9582-average-2)" fill="#eeee00" strokewidth="2.5" d="m0.75,56.89914l56.02207,0l17.31126,-56.14914l17.31126,56.14914l56.02206,0l-45.32273,34.70168l17.31215,56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70262l-45.32274,34.70262l17.31215,-56.14914l-45.32274,-34.70168z" stroke="#000000"></path>
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			</svg></div></div></div><div class="ub_review_cta_panel"><div class="ub_review_cta_main" style="justify-content: left; "></div></div></div><script type="application/ld+json">{ "@context": "http://schema.org/", "@type": "Review","reviewBody": "《不善社交的內向人，怎麼打造好人脈？》是竹下隆一郎在史丹佛與矽谷學會的七大關鍵人脈法則，希望幫助更多人減少無效社交，專注自己的生活與工作，同時又能打造人脈。關鍵人脈術的優點，一是能決定自己的經歷，二是能找到一起推動新想法與新專案的人，三是能找到願意一起改變組織的人，從而營造一個充滿動力且能正向循環的團隊。若能好好實踐、內化，這套關鍵人脈社交法，能相當程度改變你的社交生活，解決你的社交憂慮。","description": "", "itemReviewed": { "@type":"Product","name":"竹下隆一郎：《不善社交的內向人，怎麼打造好人脈？》（采實文化，2020/10）","description": "","brand": { "@type": "Brand", "name": "" }, "sku": "", "gtin": "","offers":[]}, "reviewRating":{ "@type": "Rating", "ratingValue": "4.3", "bestRating": "5" }, "author":{ "@type": "Person", "name": "評論人：Selena Chen 陳亭勻" }, "publisher": "", "datePublished": "2026-04-30", "url": "https://yuntalks.com/review-networking/" }</script></div>


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